While getting on and off rides, I started to wonder..."Why do I not get that excited about this like I used to?" I close my eyes on the Colossus and open them wide on the Wicked, but seriously I feel like a baby being rocked to sleep. It's fun and all, but not out of this world like it used to be for me. So, after deep and thoughtful pondering I've come to the conclusion it's because I live each day with the man who has become the man of my dreams. I have been spoiled as he gives me the greatest ride of all. My life is a roller coaster of turns fast and some upside down, but never the less always full of adventure. Through the years we have overcome obstacles and have learned to work together in different ways that we used to butt heads on. I would say he is more respectful and supportive of my feminine and divine nature as a daughter of God. He has learned to support and let me plan parties, events, and invite anyone and everyone into our home feeding and caring for all who are in need, simply because I enjoy seeing people be happy. And, likewise I have learned to not stand in his masculine way of Fatherhood (I perceive or at least used to perceive) as being too gruff in teaching and too rough tossing our children high and flipping them upside down. They always giggle, but if they only knew how many times I have held my breath offering silent prayers for their safety!! There are many other obstacles that are far too personal to share on a blog, but we have overcome and some we will probably be working on until forever but yes, I wouldn't rather be with anyone else. He's my best friend and fills me and completes me. My thrills are high as he brings me great joy from little daily things...you know his kisses early in the mornings when he thinks I'm sleeping, or when he prays for me thanking God for what a great mother and wife I am... going into detail to God about my talents. I really have him fooled, cause I'm not all that great...but he thinks I am. I want to be better because of his perception of me. All these consecutive daily acts have added up filling our marriage together with profound success. We haven't been perfect, but we just keep at it.
He's my hero...
This man of mine can change the fuel pump on the car (or anything on the car for that matter), leads our family in scripture study and prayer (except for the nights he's at meetings in which I step in and cover it), fills his weekends keeping our appliances up and running, going with me to all the sporting events he can possibly attend for the children, and handles the demands of work each weekday paying bills and working with lawyers and accountants and then coming home each night to church meetings, extending callings and interviews with ward members and then fitting in family needs like little daughters dressers that have been stuffed to full and need carpentry work and tempers our teenage sons who debate about whether or not plasma should be considered a state of matter because it's really just a super hot gas. He sends thoughtful texts to his daughters who have grown all up and left home just to let them know that their Dad is thinking of them and loves them. He tenderly prays for each of our children one by one each day in our companionship prayer asking God to watch over and bless them...asking for a special blessing on our son serving a mission in our church that he will be protected and learn necessary attributes to become a great man. I cannot begin to cover all his absolute awesomeness but the most important and beautiful thing I think about my man is...he never gives up. When times have been difficult because of earthly pride he finds humility. This strong, broad shouldered man who can do anything asks God to forgive him and he honestly and humbly seeks change that he might be a better and kinder man. Through his service and love for me and others his rough edges have gradually become smoother and he cares more deeply. He loves more deeply. He is my protector. He is more confident in his role as the Patriarch of our home. He leads in greater compassion and success.
I am passionately in love with my man. We can be in the most intense argument and I glance at his hands and my heart fills with immediate attraction for his masculinity and touch. I know it sounds silly. First, I must win the argument then wrap those strong hands around me just to melt right into him..tee hee...no but seriously his hands are so strong and do so much good. They are symbolic perhaps of hard work, discipline, and the most exquisite gentle manner as he holds me so close each day. I can't resist him or get enough of him. It's strange, I love him more deeply now than when we were married years ago. Our special times fill me with oneness, togetherness, and greater feelings of heavenly satisfaction greater than any other earthly thrill. He's my man and my forever friend and lover. I suppose this is why an amusement park just doesn't cut it anymore for me...now when I walk through holding my lover's hand I know where the greatest thrills are found. It's not in fleeting Hollywood love affairs that come and go only to the rich and beautiful... the world's idea of love. But rather, it's day after day, moment after moment of sweetness and hard work, smiling on the ups and holding him tight on the downs. It's living closer to God and thus closer to each other...trusting that we'll be together forever. We are truly learning to become one and it's the great ride I'll ever take!
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